Hello bloggers,
It’s 10:36 in the am in London and this little chicken is worrying!!! (chicken is a nickname of endearment given to me by someone a few years back).
So from 2pm onwards I am expecting a meeting with someone it’s not going to pleasant and it’s going to be very difficult as I feel awful in having a meeting about what I need to discuss!
I am in two minds as I feel guilty if I speak out but guilty if I don’t! Last Thursday I had a meeting with Someone at HO and I left there with another manager saying that we did the right thing but when I was alone driving home I started to wonder did I do the right thing I was so distressed I just sat driving in silence as tears came down my face I felt numb and like I was betraying someone. I feel scared if they find out I have said something as I can not take being shouted at again. I am good strong person in paper and email but meet me in person and you will see a major difference! I have started to become strong I was assisting a new manager who started with a surgery I was just helping out with and she has made me become stronger as the problems and phone calls I get make me become a strong person to have to deal with the heavy load and the shouting at me etc. But now today as I am prepare for the meeting I am feeling sick and headachy and panicked. I an shattered and just want to sleep again at night without struggling I know if I can get through today and tomorrow I will just have Saturday morning to work and I will be able to take stock of all that’s happened and breathe! But right now I keep saying to myself think carefully do you think you can do this??!! I don’t know what to do!
Just get me a pool of chocolate or a treadmill either one will help!
Next blog entry will prob be a lot calmer and less stressed and hopefully a poem (let’s hope it will be a good poem)
TTFN
SJ'S Little Corner 